Over the Christmas holiday season, I had one of those humorous experiences when we find ourselves unexpectedly exposed to chemicals. Prior to becoming ill, I used to love to entertain, and have felt frustrated about not having the energy to entertain the past few years. Since my mother has hosted a Christmas party for our family the past several years, I thought one idea would be for me to arrange to have the party at her house catered this year. Since I, myself can’t entertain, I felt like this would be one way I could contribute. So I lined up a caterer and did my best to cover my bases, asking the waitperson not to wear scented products. I asked my mom not to use any cleaning products prior to the party, and I asked all the guests to come "fragrance free".

Well, after a month of anticipating this special occasion, the night of the party finally arrived. Thinking all my bases had been covered, my husband and I walked into my mom’s house where the caterer was setting up the meal, only to find out the caterer was using sterno burners to keep the food warm until dinner! This totally threw me for a loop, and I quickly started brainstorming as to how I was going to handle this situation. Here I was responsible for arranging the caterer and I had totally forgot to ask how they were going to keep the food warm!

Soon after entering the home I started reacting to the sterno fumes, so I could not think very well about what to do. I finally decided to ask the caterer to turn off the sterno right before dinner was served, and I would stay across the house until that time. Well, in addition to the sterno, someone at the party had some fragrance on their clothing, probably from a prior event. We all know how perfume is nearly impossible to wash out of clothing. So, needless to say, between the sterno fumes and this fragrance, I was "flying high" about an hour into the party.

During dinner, I sat at the "kid’s table", cause it was in a separate room from the adult who had fragrance on their clothing. After dinner, I went briefly into the dining room where all the adult guests were seated, and announced that the caterer had put desserts out in the kitchen. I informed the guests that they could help themselves to dessert when they were ready. After about 10 minutes, no one had gotten up to get their desserts. Being I was in a pretty intense reaction by this point, I got very frustrated at what I perceived to be laziness on the part of the guests. So to deal with the situation, I grabbed a plate of desserts, and brought them into the dining room. I laid them on the table and said to all the guests, "Here you go, you slugs!" Well, when I noticed that my husband’s mouth had almost dropped to his knees, I figured out I must’ve said something I shouldn’t have. So I quickly explained to my guests, "This is how I get when I’m under the influence of chemicals!" Fortunately a few of the guests had a good sense of humor and started howling with laughter. One guest recommended I play Santa that night being I seemed to be in a hilarious mood. One guest walked away, muttering under their breath, "Oh brother, I’ve heard everything now."

As most of us have noticed, this illness brings a wide variety of responses from people who don’t quite know what to think of us at times when we are in chemical reactions. The reality is, we don’t fit into this world any longer. People often don’t understand us.

I feel it is vitally important for all of us to try and keep our sense of humor in these type of situations, and not let the responses of others dictate our emotional response. We need to continue to "make lemonade" when life hands us lemons, and keep on smiling!!!!

From time to time, we hear of someone with MCS who got so discouraged about the isolation, and all that goes along with having MCS, that they took their own life. This poem is meant to give hope to those who are at the bottom of the pit:

My heart bleeds for those who’ve lost all hope.

Suicide is not the way to cope.

God has a plan for everyone’s life,

Even if it appears to be filled with strife.

Pain is a tool to help us grow.

Through it God shows us what He wants us to know.

It helps us get our perspective straight.

So if you’re in despair, please just wait.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Look to God for strength and pray.

He will carry you through the darkest night.

After the darkness, there will come light.

God loves and cares for us so much.

He wants us to always keep in touch.

His strength and peace is there for us.

So call on Him when things are tough.!

In the midst of living with MCS, at times, I have felt like the whole world was against me. Sometimes even our own family and close friends have no grace or compassion left for us. It is during those times, I am so glad I have Christ as my best friend to lean on and know He will always be there to comfort me. During one of those times of feeling all alone, I wrote the following poem:

When it seems like the whole world is against me…

I still have you.

When all those closest to me reject me…

I still have you.

Sometimes I feel so misjudged…

But I still have you.

Sometimes I feel so misunderstood…

But I still have you.

Sometimes I feel so alone

Because society just doesn’t understand.

I want the truth to be made known

So that justice will be able to stand.

You know my frame.

You know I am but dust.

MCS is a mystery to so many.

But thank goodness you still love me plenty!

This past holiday season I experienced a lot of sadness over how my life has changed since developing MCS. December is usually the most difficult month of the year for me, as it accentuates all the things I can no longer freely participate in—parties at the homes of family and friends, Christmas concerts at churches and schools, company Christmas parties, Christmas caroling, ski trips, etc. All these events I used to enjoy are either no longer possible, or are few and far between. This past December of 1999, I was especially homesick for my heavenly home. 2 Corinthians 5:6-8 says,

"Therefore, we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it."

Sometimes the pain and losses of this life seem almost more than I can bear. It is during these times I must make sure I set my focus on eternal things. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says,

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Over and over, scripture exhorts us to keep our minds focused on heavenly things. Colossians 3:1-3 says,

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory."

For those who have committed their lives to Christ, the Bible promises we will receive various rewards when our time on earth has been completed. I Peter 5:4 says,

"And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away."

Our perseverance will be rewarded. Though at times we may feel like giving up, and the enemy may even put thoughts of suicide in our heads, we must press on and finish the race God has called us to. James 1:12 says,

Right before the apostle Paul died, he said this in 2 Timothy 4:7-8,

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

I do long for Christ’s appearing, especially on days when living with a chronic illness overwhelms me. I often pray that God would quickly return and take His church home to be with Him forever! I Thessalonians 4:16-18 says,

"For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore, encourage each other with these words."

Cindy Duehring went to her eternal home in 1999. We all miss the support she gave the MCS community tremendously! I’m thankful she is out of her pain and suffering, and it is a comfort to know that she is with Jesus, as she knew Him as her personal Lord and Savior. She has reached her eternal destiny. If any of you reading this do not know for sure if you will be going to heaven when your time on this earth is finished, this very day you can have the assurance that you too will have an eternal home waiting for you when you die. John 3:16 says:

God sent His son to earth 2,000 years ago to die and pay the penalty for our sins. If we acknowledge that, and commit our life to Christ, then we will be assured of living forever in heaven with Christ. If you are interested in receiving this free gift of eternal life, you might pray a prayer similar to this,

"Dear Jesus, I believe you are the son of God and that you died to pay the penalty for my sins. I accept your free gift of salvation right now. I acknowledge that I am a sinner and need you in my life to become the kind of person you want me to be. Come into my life right now, and make me like you. Amen."

If you commit your life to Christ, you then become a member of God’s family! In order to get to know Jesus better, it is important to get a copy of the Bible and read it—it is like God’s instruction book on how to have a successful life on earth. If you just gave your life to Christ, I would love to know so I can be praying for you. If you’d like to contact me so I can pray for you, please e-mail me at jmridings@integrityol.com. I would count it a joy and privilege to be able to pray for you! (and answer any questions you may have)

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share my MCS experiences with you all! May God continue to strengthen you and encourage you as you walk through a very challenging illness through His strength!

Psalm 105:4:

"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always."

If you would like me to notify you via e-mail when the next volume of the "Aroma of Christ Newsletter" becomes available, please send me your e-mail address with your request.

God bless you all!

Janine Ridings